Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The infinite sadness

Los dias pasan, y ya me quedan menos.
Quedan solo 9 dias.

Una parte de mi se quiere ir, a hacer algo diferente, a caminar por una calle que nunca he caminado (Taking The red pill effect); pero hay un pedacito de mi y de mi corazon que me dice que me tome la azul, y siga durmiendo en este sueño tan real.

Si, con todo y lo que he pasado, he pensado aqui, he pensado quedarme. Muchas cosas me llaman a quedarme, y solo una me dice VETE.

Siempre sentimos miedo al tomar una decision, porque no sabemos si es la correcta. Y siempre se queda el grandioso misterio del "y si..." que nunca se sabe. Pero la vida hay que vivirla de acuerdo a los hechos y no de lo que nunca fue.

El hecho es que me voy el 24 de febrero, a un pais donde se desayuna conflei y se almuerza en la noche. Donde se respeta la velocidad maxima en la calle (ke averia!). Un pais que tiene detectores de metales en las escuelas, y aun asi aparece siempre un loco que se lambe a 300 compañeros de clase, porque una cancion de Atari Teenage Riot les dijo que lo hicieran.

Estoy acostumbrado a correr en la calle, a tirar basura donde me da la gana, a llegar a mi casa incojonao, sudao y con grajo porque en la calle habia tapon. A vivir en una casa donde nunca hay luz, y hay que tener planta, inversor, cisterna, tinaco y un tanque de 500 galones de gas propano.

Me gusta mi fritura, un chimi a las 2 de la mañana. Manejar prendío despues de salir de una bebedera en casa de los panas, mi comida al mediodia, dormir la jartura, y maldecir a los policias que picotean.

Todo esto me va a hacer falta...Me voy....y me voy sin mirar para atras.

Espero que algun dia me vayan a visitar, carajo!

Me han preguntado que cuando es mi despedida como 300 veces...

No hay despedida.

El que quiera despedirse, que pase y lo haga. Odio las despedidas...

Po na, adeu.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I hate vegetarians

Un amigo vino a visitarme hoy. Vino a presentarme su nueva novia. Cuando llegaron, me estaba comiendo un beef jerky, y le ofreci un chin. La jevita me puso una cara de vómito, y me dijo que ella era vegetariana, y eso que yo estaba comiendo ni si quiera era carne.

Me quede como que "WTF mate? Can australia come too?"

La jevita se fue en una explicandome de por que es vegetariana y mil vainas mas.

Mi cuarto encuentro desagradable en la vida con una vegetariana jodona.

Es por eso que he decidido clasificar a los vegetarianos, segun mi criterio.

Aqui va:

Vegetanazi: Este es el tipo de vegetariano que no come carne, y encima de eso, tratara de imponer sus creencias a traves de la television y propaganda en la radio. Los vegetarianos de este tipo estan seriamente afectados por un Sindrome De jodedera Aguda (SIDA). Por ente, un vegetanazi se dedicara a joder a todo aquel que decide comer carne, y a no seguir sus ideales.

Vegetariano Anti-carne: Este es el tipo de vegetariano mas comun. Es aquel que no come ningun tipo de carne, pescado, excepto leche y queso. Estos no son tan problematicos, porque generalmente son callados, flacos, desnutridos y de mentes muy cerradas. No les importa el mundo, solamente ellos. Generalmente estos vegetarianos estan arrinconados en una esquina mental, tan asustados de hacerle daño a algo, o de matar, que caminan con mucho cuidado para no pisar una araña o cualquier insecto, porque estan vivos, y si estan vivos, tienen sentimientos tambien, no?

Pseudo Vegetariano: Este es posiblemente el vegetariano mas peligroso y jodon de todos. Solo come pescado y hojas. No encuentro una explicacion racional de por que comen pescado y no comen vaca o cerdo. Este tipo de vegetariano le encanta verse flaco y padece de anemia. Generalmente tiene su patio sembrado de hortalizas y lechugas. El 65% de los pseudo vegetarianos se suicidan antes de llegar a los 40. Dejan de comer y se mueren de hambre.

Hay muchos tipos de vegetarianos mas, pero creo que todos se acomodan entre una mezcla de estas tres categorias.

Estoy ansioso que llegue el dia en que la ciencia descubra que los vegetales tambien sienten y sufren, para que todos los vegetarianos se den cuenta que el sufrimiento es inevitable, o en su defecto, que decidan todos morirse de hambre.

[edit]
http://gorillamask.net/meatyou.shtml
[/edit]

Me Duele

Me duele la garganta.

Anoche no dormi bien porque la garganta no me dejo.

Estoy incomodo.

Si prendo el aire me pica la garganta.
Pero si lo apago me da calor.
Si me acuesto me dan ganas de toser.
Si me siento me duele la nalga y la espalda.
Si me quedo parado, me duelen los pies.

Me voy a flotar.
Chau

Monday, February 13, 2006

Do The Ali

This is Ali:



And this is how you do the ali:




Come on everybody, Do the ali!

Postea tu foto en tu blog, haciendo The Ali, y deja un comment!
:)
YEY! FUN!!!!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

This is annoying


And this is even more annoying

Sing Along With Me:

Oh my word
This tune it's annoying
Yes I know
It's reallly annoying
And I can't get this song out of my head.

Make it stop
This tune is annoying
And I got to go
To work in the morning
And im gonna be humming it in my bed.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

"Living" in the third world

El otro dia estaba chatiando con "Yomaira", que vive en NJ, y no se como llegamos al tema, pero termine explicandole que es un tinaco, que es una cisterna.

Decidi hacer un post para futuras referencias de como vivir en el tercer mundo.

Electricity:

Apagón: A power shortage. This is very frequent in dominican republic. It hapens several times every day for many many hours. Along with apagones comes los chorros de la nevera, the mosquitos, and boredom. Atraso is also comes with apagones.
There is no country that can hechar para alante with apagones. Thats a fact.

So for apagones we have:

A Planta: This is a generator. Many people have plantas at home or at work. If a colmado doesnt have a planta, the beer wont be cold, and they go out of business before you can say berengena. Beauty salons cannot succeed without a planta. They charge extra money to the clients when the planta is on.
Some people use the planta to charge their inversor (pronounced IMBELSOL [eembellsol]).

The Inversor: This is a power inverter. In a very cientific way, a power inverter converts 12 V DC to 110 V AC. In other words, is like a battery pack for your house. An inversor is useless for salons and colmados because hairdryers and freezers drain the power from the inversor in very little time. Plus, batteries are very expensive, and since there is never luz to charge the batteries, you still need a planta to charge the batteries; so its pointles to have an inversor for this purposes. But inversores are great for home use. You can have an inversor hooked up to some lightbulbs, a TV and a fan, so you have a lit up house, and still be able to watch tv confortably without the mosquitos draining all your blood.
Forget about solar panels, windmills and hydro-electrics. This are too expensive for the average dominican.

Now, for Water Supply, we have:

The Bomba: This is nothing less than a small water pump for home or business use. A bomba takes water from a source, and pumps it to its destination. There are many ways of having a bomba bombeando water to your house.

The bomba ladrona (thief pump): this is a 1/2 HP (or lower) water pump used in those places where the water preasure that comes from the waterpipes is too low.

Another type of bomba is the normal bomba we all know, usually a 2 HP bomba wich pulls water from a CISTERNA, and then up to the house or appartment. A cisterna is like an underground pool covered by a tapa de cisterna. No, wait...Nobody swims in cisternas. Think of it, as an undeground concrete water tank.

The Tinaco: This is a big water tank, usually round and white, that gets filled up by a bomba that pulls water from a cisterna or it may also be filled up by a bomba ladrona, depending on the height of your roof. Almost everybody in santo domingo has a tinaco. If you ever get the chance to go to parque mirador, take a few seconds to look at the panoramic view of the city. The city of santo domingo should be renamed to tinaco city. We all have tinacos, from all shape, sizes and colors.
The thing about tinacos is that they grow algae (green water) because of the sunlight. So people get raquiña and ñañaras all the time, if the tinaco is not cleaned every now and then.

The same goes to cisternas. People never clean their cisternas, since they never look at them. A cisterna has to be cleaned at least once every 6 months, and a monthly dose of chlorine is also recomended.

Some people are paranoid about water, like my family for example. We have a 5,000 gallon cisterna that takes water from the waterpipes, and we use a bomba tu pump it to a 500 gallon tinaco in the roof. So when the power goes out, and the planta doesnt work, then we can have water from the tinaco come down by gravity. Sounds complicated? NONSENSE! wait untill you read on...


No I would like to take some time to talk about Waste management:

El camion de la basura: This is the garbage truck, wich is equipped with the loudest, most annoying horn in the market. I still dont understand why everytime the truck makes a stop it has to make such noise.

Recycling: Dominicans have a very good sense of how important the enviroment is. Thats why we recycle. But our recycling system is not as efficient as the one in the states. We recycle things like the dish washing soap cubitos. Instead of throwing them away, we use them to store the reamining habichuela del mediodia. Another good example of recycling is foam. Poor people who live in little houses with techo de zinc, melt foam cups with gasoline to cover the little holes in the celing. A tube of sillicone is expensive, and the gases emited by it is harmful to the medio ambiente. We also recylce tusas, wich is the bone of the corn. I refuse to describe how dominicans use tusas in order to keep the integrity of this website.

There is a really funny anecdote of why is the barrio of Vietnam called like that. I will explai this in another post.

All the garbage collected by the camion de la basura goes to duquesa. Sometimes duquesa gets angry and catches fire. Sometimes duquesa gets really smelly and the whole santo domingo smells like duquesa.


Now, on to my favorite... Public Transportation:

Carro publico: this translates to public car. There are no carro publicos in the US. They only exist here in dominican republic, and are well known for their incredible law breaking ability .
The average carro publico is a 1989 or earlyer Datsun or Toyota Corolla, equipped with a Propane Gas System. Yes, they run on propane gas. Just think about all the security risks you get when you put togeather an old car, a very poor installation of a propane system and 8 people. You would inmediatly assume that carro publicos blow up all the time, and many many people get killed. But for your suprise, not a single person has been reported dead for an explosion of a carro publico. More people die in aghanistan for a car blowing up than here in DR.

But carro publicos are not the only ones running on propane. Even yipetas and mercedes have a propane system. Why? because its way cheaper, and people rather blow up and save some money than loose money and be safe. Just think of all the presidentes you can buy by switching to propane. My friend Fernando has a propane powered skoda and he gets twice the kilometers per peso than me. That means he saves about 500 pesos every time he fills up his tank. A presidente costs 35 pesos in a colmado, thats about 14 presidentes. He can have 2 presidentes every day, and still have some money to buy some masitas.


Guaguas: a guagua is nothing more than a public bus. There are many types of guaguas. There is the OMSA, the OMSA con aire, The OMSA gusano wich is the long one that looks like a worm; Then we have the smaller ones called pollitos and the minibus (pronounced meeneeboo). Guaguas have no A/C, unless specified. Guaguas with A/C are more expensive, and people hardly ever use them. All guaguas, except the OMSA have a cobrador. The cobrador is the guy hanging from the door that indicates the route of the guagua, and is in charge of getting all the monetary fees from passengers. He's also in charge of making all the signals to the other drivers that the bus IS GOING THAT WAY, so they HAVE to stop, and let them pass, because they are bigger, and they will fuck up your car if you dont let them pass, because they have a huge defensa. The chofers of the guaguas are highly illiterate people, and they think they know all the laws of traffic. They even make their own, and they are allways right. Cobradores are very well know for being ass grabbers. If you are hot and good looking, be careful when stepping out of the bus, or the cobrador will grab your ass.

It is a known fact that many people get mugged in carro publicos at night, thats why people take taxis at night. But im not talking like in NYC that you just stand in the sidewalk and a taxi will pass you by every 2 minutes. You have to call a taxi company, and they will radio a unit for you. Be careful when getting in a taxi. You have to ask the taxi company for the color of the taxi, and the number, or a burglar could pick you up on his taxi and steal all your belongings.


There are many other things you have to do to survive in the third world. You have to pay for the apagones, you have to pay for the mantainance of the planta, inversor, cisterna, tinaco and bomba de agua. You have to pay expensive carros publicos, wich make the everyday traffic a living hell, and the best of it all....

WE LOVE LIVING HERE!

Thank you Chaotically Serene for the inspiration...I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writting it.

Hungover

ARGH!
I NEED A BEER!

Im Thirsty, I got a headache, I have a sore throat....

And I woke up at 9:45!

WTF MATE!?

Drunk on Fridays...

Holly Shit man....
ok, para este post, vamo por parte:
Bueno, en resumidas cuentas, acabo de llegar de Red Room (primera vez que voy). Hoy era el cumpleanos de Super Mario, y como 10 gente ma. Fui pa dique "pa pasar nama" y como que me quede y vaina.
Alla taba to el mundo.

Bebi demasiado. Los tragos estaban en oferta. Pague uno a 500 pesos y me dieron como 6 gratis.
Lo mejor del caso es que mil gente me saludo, dike HEY DOTOL COMO TAMO, y yo ni le veia la cara, en ese sitio tan ocuro, pero na, igual le hacia el coro, y saludaba a to el que me saludaba.

Yo no se cuando e que vamo a hacer ete evento de nuevo, pero lo que si se que mañana no es. Yo me voy a tirar a dormir, y me levantare manana a las 15.


Aqui van los saludos:

Primero:
George, you're a n00b! Te lo perdiste.

Segundo:
Cló: Diablo!

Tercero:
Mario: Hay Jeshú el pobre...ahhahahah que mal.

Cuarto:
Gregory: pa donde te fuite? arregla el maldito celular.

Quinto:
Sara: I hope you get home safe.

Sexto:
Czar: Fuck You, Lucky Bastard.

Septimo:
whatever your name is: Dont do that again...I hate reggaeton.

Octavo:
Ali: Diablo. que sWapPer! LOL! You even gave me your phone #! WTF!?

Noveno:
Sandra: Me sacate lo pie, pero jevi.


Yo espero no hacer una rutina esto de drunk on fridays, porque de verda, no lo veo saludable.

Good night to y'all

Adio,


[edit]
Se me olvido poner que antes de ir pa red room, tabamo jugando nintendo en casa de vicz. HAHAHAH. Se jugo aperisimo si....
Como a las 12 le digo a cló, mielda loka, vamo pa red room, y ni lo penso, fue como que abrio los ojos asi grandotes y dijo VAMO!
hahahahahaha
gracias por el reminder.
[/edit]

Friday, February 10, 2006

Save The Whales! WTF For?

The other day I went to renew my car's registration, and this lady asked me if I wanted to donate some money to save the whales...Why save the whales? Fuck the whales! What have they done for me to deserve my donation?

Just think about this...what if one day, you go to the beach and read a sign that says "Sorry, due to a lack of water, the beach is closed."

Impossible? Think again.

Here's a little fact about whales that not many people know: Whales are drinking all our water and eating yoleros for breakfast.



Oh, and the best part... this lady mentioned the fact that whales are smart!

Well, answer this asshole... If whales are so smart, how come they still haven't learned to breathe under water like every other fish in the ocean?

Whales are stupid. The only good thing that comes out of them is POOP. Ginormus turds used as fertilizer in some corn fields in mexico.

Whales suck. !

Se Vende

De nuevo, vendiendo barato, para el pueblo:

Monitor AOC 16" CRT, con mi foto en la esquina de arriba a la derecha.
RD$2,500



Bocinas 5.1 Omega DeskTop Theater 5.1
Controla cada bocina por separado
Crossover 5.1/Stereo
RD$3,000



Pecera 80 galones, con peces (sin los peces de cristina), decoracion y filtro nuevo.
El tanque nuevo solamente cuesta RD$25,000.00 aprox.
la dejo en RD$15,000 (GANGA!) con todo (hasta el agua!)



Pecera de 30 galones con luz incandescente, filtros, peces, decoracion natural.
RD$5,500



CDs originales, 150 pesos c/u.

Nirvana - From the muddy Banks of the wishkah
Rage Against The Machine - Evil Empire
Santuario - brutalismo
Soundgarden - Down on the Upside
Silverchair - Freakshow
Alice In Chains - Alice in chains
Aterciopelados - El Dorado
Bush - Razorblade Suitcase
Pearl Jam - Yield
Days of the new - Days Of The New
Cake - Fashion Nugget
Live - Throwing Copper


Todo esto debe ser vendido antes del 20 de febrero....
Asi que metan mano rapido, que "E PA FUERA QUE VOY!"

contacto: un comment aqui en el blog.

Pondre mas cosas, mientras vaya encontrando
:)

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Violence R0x0rz t3h b1g 0n3!

People are always bitching about violence on TV. I recently had the misfortune of watching TV (bad idea), and now I see why they're bitching: there's not enough violence on TV! Man, everything on TV sucks. It's hard to explain how bad it is. To help you get the idea, imagine a fat, blistered, zit covered ass. Now keep that image in your head for 6 hours. That's what it's like to watch TV.

Okay, that was bad, I apologize. Anyway, we need more violence on TV, because what's on now is weak. Nobody wants to watch 'Friends,' with some asshole that calls himself "Chandler" or whatever the hell his name is. That's bullshit. I say we have a show where it's just a guy that runs over people.



What's that? You say that's a lame idea? Oh.. well I say "go to hell."

So anyway, back to my car idea. This guy runs over people because he feels like he should give back to the community by cutting down its population.

If we had a few shows like Rambo on TV all the time, things would be a lot better. All those dipshits bitching about violence having an adverse affect on youth need to pull their heads out of their ass. Violence builds character, everyone needs violence every once in a while to keep them in check. We don't want to raise a nation of wimps. I'm too tired to continue this bullshit.

A Little About Me...


I like video games.
I like leaving my socks all around the house.
I like speeding.
I like movies with guns and things blowing up.
I like rock and roll.
I like gadgets.
I like my bed (its the best in the world).
I like the color blue.
I like driving stick shift.
I like the beach.
I like girls.
I like to pick ice cream by it's color.
I like toys.
I like to go to toy stores.
I like loud music.
I like watching movies.
I like flash animations.
I like stupid flash animations.
I like playing mrs pacman on the arcade machine at the airport.
I like it when I get an adrenaline rush.
I like living the moment.
I like money.
I hate bachata, reggaeton, salsa and baladas amargachopas.
I hate berengena.
I hate YOU.
I hate brocoli.
I hate mature people.
I hate feeling sad.
I hate being bored.
Odio cuando alguien me despierta como no me gusta
I hate apagones.
I hate n00bs (i pwn 3m, then i eath their babies).
I hate Cameron Diaz.
I hate traffic.
I hate getting Pwned.
I hate chick flicks.
I hate movies with a message.
I hate filosophy.
I hate books with no pictures or drawings.
I hate NUDGES!

Well, thats about it.
For now...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

No lo puedo creer...

Como es que hacen un anuncio asi?
es pa que no lo pongan nunca en ningun lao!?
Click Aqui

Este mundo esta loco....

Fotos del Coroblog

Para los que no tienen las fotos de mi cam, aqui tan:
Click Here

Es un ZIP con todas mis fotos.
:)

si las quieres ver una a una estan en
http://www.tiendazeuss.com/dumps/Bloggers%202006/

Justapic

Friday, February 03, 2006

B3W4r3!


I Pwn N00bs!

El coro blog en parkeo bar

Vayan pa ya esta noche a las 8:30 de la noche en adelante. Vamos a ayudar a esa gente con lo que sea, no crean que porque son "niños" no les va a servir su ropa, medicamentos, vhs viejos, computadoras, y demas.

Lleven lo que sea, hasta sus ex novios(as) que ya no usen que esa gente le saca provecho a lo que sea!

Parkeo Bar esta en la Roberto Pastoriza, casi esquina tiradentes.

Lleguenle, y el que vaya con las manos vacias personalmente le daré un manoplaso.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Stuff

Cuando era chiquito:

Me rompi la frente porque un cachorrito pastor aleman me cayo atras, y me asuste. Sali corriendo y me tropece. Cuando cai, me di con una piedra en la frente.

Me fracture la muñeca izquierda en mundo sobre ruedas, el dia de mi cumpleaños antes que llegaran los invitados. Todos fueron a mi fiesta, menos yo.

Leo me cayo encima en el dedo meñique derecho cuando estaba en septimo, y me fracturo el dedo. La profesora Miladys creia que era mentira, y no me dejaba ir a la enfermeria. Cuando se me hincho el dedo, me dejaron ir a la enfermeria, y me pusieron bengay. Vi a dios comiendo arroz. Tuve que usar un yeso por 1 mes.

En Octavo me fracture el tobillo derecho haciendo deportes. El profesor Zayas me queria curar la fractura con una funda de hielo y masajes. Me pusieron un yeso por un mes y usaba muletas para poder caminar.

Despues que me quitaron el yeso, sali a montar bicicleta. El rubio iba manejando y yo iba atras en los conos. Antes de llegar al policia acostado, salte, pero no segui caminando. Me parti la barbilla y me dieron 4 puntos. El medico dijo que to el que se parte la barbilla se la parte dos veces. Aun espero la segunda.

En primero de bachillerato me fracture el tobillo izquierdo por una mala pisada. Una mala pisada que me fisuro el hueso. Mes y medio con yeso.

Cuando estaba en 2do de bachillerato mi computadora se dañó porque junior me grabo unas fotos pornograficas con virus. Me dejaron sin computadora por 1 mes.

Cuando estaba terminando el 2do de bachillerato me encontre 2mil pesos en mi casa. Era el salario de la muchacha, pero yo lo coji pa mi, porque me lo encontre. Compre una cinta de super nintendo y una culebra de plastico. Le compre a junior una culebra gigante y una bola de goma. La mama de junior llamo a mi casa preguntando de donde yo saque el dinero para eso, y poof, me descubrieron. No se cuanto tiempo dure de castigo...

En 4to de bachillerato me queme en quimica organica, y por eso casi no me dejan hacer ceremonia de graduacion. Pase el examen completivo y me dejaron graduar. Odio la quimica organica.


Todas estas cosas me hicieron sufrir, en ocasiones me provocaban dolor. Pero nunca llore. No recuerdo la ultima vez que llore. Todos los medicos que me ponian yeso le decian a mi madre "y porque el no esta llorando, deberia estar dando gritos como un loco"...yo solamente decia...Mami, me duele.